How to Start Organizing When You're Overwhelmed | Ep 10

When life feels out of control, your home is the one thing you can control. Most of us freeze instead of act. Here's how to start.

You don't have to wait until the spiral stops to start organizing. In this episode, Elyse shares her honest advice for what to do when overwhelm is keeping you frozen — and why the "make a plan, get a system" approach is the worst thing you can do in that moment.

In this episode:

→ What "spiraling" actually means (and why it's not a character flaw) 

→ Why we freeze instead of act when our space feels chaotic

→ The permission slip most of us need before we can start 

→ The 4-step framework to take action right now, even if you're mid-spiral

→ Why your home is one of the few places you actually do have control

This is not about getting your home Pinterest-perfect. It's about one small exhale at a time.

🎙️ Tame the Chaos is a podcast about the mindset side of organizing and what it really looks like to create a home (and a life) that works, hosted by San Diego professional organizer Elyse Metzger. New episodes every other week.

Connect with Elyse:

Instagram: @the.organized.way

Facebook: The Organized Way

YouTube: @theorganizedway

Website: discovertheorganizedway.com

In the San Diego area? I work with clients for home organizing and move management. Book a free consult.

Have a question or topic idea? DM me. I'd love to hear from you!

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Transcript

Why Typical Organizing Advice Fails

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Most organizing experts out there will tell you to sit down, make a plan, make a list, and maybe get some bins to help you get organized. I am telling you that this is the worst advice because when you start to feel yourself spiral, like your to-do list is at max, your mental capacity is also at max, and you feel like your home is failing and slipping out of your hands. Here's the thing: when your life feels like that and it feels like it's spiraling, the last thing that you are capable of doing is sitting down, thinking clearly, and making a plan to organize your house. Today I'm going to tell you what to do instead. I'm Elise Metzger and welcome to Tame

Understanding the "Spiral" of Overwhelm

SPEAKER_00 0:48

the Chaos. When I'm talking about spiraling, I want to be clear that I'm not talking about health mental crisis. I'm talking about the kind of spiraling that happens when life gets busy, when life literally gets so overwhelming that you can't think straight. I am talking about nonstop work, activities, social events, kids' activities just all week long. It may be caretaking for another family member, you're moving, whatever the case may be. It's one of those times in life, or many, when you haven't really had time to look up and you finally do, and you're like, what in the world is happening? That's what I mean by spiraling. And it doesn't mean that you're a disorganized person or you just can't get it together. It means that you're having a challenging or hard or busy time in life, or just can't seem to get up for air to take a breath. During these times, our home kind of takes a back burner, and it's not to blame anyone, it's just what happens. And the home kind of reflects that. If you've listened to my earlier episodes, I am a true believer in your space reflecting on what's going on in your daily life. Our spaces literally mirror what's happening in our life. All

The "Freeze" Response to Clutter

SPEAKER_00 2:19

right, let's talk about the freeze because not a lot of people talk about this. When we feel overwhelmed by our space, the natural response is to fix it all. So we look around, we look at the laundry room, we look at the kitchen, the countertop, and we think we have to fix this in order to get the house organized. And so we look around again and we get really overwhelmed. We don't know where to start because there's so many places. And this is totally normal. This is our human psyche. There's just too many things, and so we freeze. We may think to ourselves, okay, we'll just push the time to do this until the kids are at grandma's, when the kids are in school, when I have more time, when work slows down, whenever you think that you may have a moment. But I am going to state the obvious here, and I am telling you that life is not slowing down, at least for me and most of the people I know. That chunk of time that you're waiting to organize your house is not coming anytime soon. And if it is, you're going to be waiting for a long time. I see this type of pattern, the freezing with clients a lot of the times. When I receive calls from new clients, some of the times they will say, Oh, I've waited too long to call you. The reason behind that is because they are planning to do it themselves, waiting for a time to do it themselves, or they just feel like they have to get their house to a certain point before I come. I do hear this a lot from prospect clients is oh, I'm going to call you in a couple months when I do this, when I do this. And it's usually them decluttering first before I come. But that's what I do. That's an organizer's job to help you declutter. This freeze happens and it happens with clients, new clients, old clients. It happens with me. I am the same. Just the other day, I was thinking, I don't want to organize this, I don't have time. I have a lot of projects coming up. I don't want to go organize somebody else's house and then come organize mine. And so I freeze too. It's just a natural human response. Before we go into the stats of organizing when you're overwhelmed, I want you to think about something. And I want to make this clear that when your house gets this way, when you feel like it's out of control, that you can't get a handle of it, it's definitely not your fault. It is life. And this is totally normal. I see it all the time. Now that we've shifted our mindset a little bit,

Shifting Your Mindset

SPEAKER_00 5:06

let's get practical. When you're feeling overwhelmed, like you're going to spiral, like you feel like your house is out of control, I'm going to give you my honest advice on what to do. This is what I tell myself, my friends, my clients, anyone that's close to me and wants to get a handle of their home. This is what I

Step 1: Start with "Low-Hanging Fruit"

SPEAKER_00 5:27

would tell them. Step number one, don't start with the hardest thing. When your house is bothering you, usually when life gets really busy, it's the drop zones, the really busy zones in our home, like the kitchen, the entryway, the high frequency areas of our home. Those are usually the spaces that we see and so bother us the most and have the most impact. Start with the low-hanging fruit. Pick what is bothering you most. Don't think to yourself, oh, that linen closet upstairs that I barely get into. Don't even worry about it until you can. It is not bothering you at the moment. Choose what is right in front of you, low-hanging fruit. Pick what is going to be the biggest win for the smallest amount of effort. That would be the countertop in the kitchen, the countertop in the bathroom, your nightstand, the shoe rack by your door. Something that you can actually do in about 15 to 20 minutes, complete it, be done, and call it a day. I know that this sounds really simple, but listen, when we are in that state of overwhelm in life, it's really hard to think clearly. And sometimes we think that we have to do everything all at once and we don't. When you can control something little, small, it gives you a sense of accomplishment and that you are doing something when you feel like life is starting to spiral. When you can complete these small little tasks, it proves to your nervous system that you are able to do it and it creates momentum. This isn't a cliche. Small wins are really how you build momentum.

Step 2: The Four-Box Rule

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Step number two, the four box rule. So whatever you're working on, make quick decisions. Have a box for keep, donate, trash, or I don't know what to do with. Since your nervous system in this overwhelmed state is already kind of out of whack, you do not need to feel pressured to make a decision right away. I think that this holds back some people from getting down and dirty when they're decluttering because they feel like they have to make a decision right then and there. And while that is the case, it's good to make decisions. You don't always have to make a decision on every single little thing. You are already overwhelmed. Don't overwhelm yourself more. Make quick decisions. If you don't know what to do with it, put it in the I don't know pile and put that box back in your garage, the holding zone. If you can live without it for 30, 60, 90 days and you don't need it, discard it, donate it. This four box rule is basically you just sorting through a drawer, countertop, whatever the space that seemed to have gotten cluttered or just needs a good go-through. Then use this rule. It's basically sorting through your things, making quick decisions, putting no pressure on yourself. Step number three, don't organize before you declutter. When you're going through things, you may get sidetracked and want to start to organize because organizing is the fun part. Decision making, no. My advice is to stay focused, declutter. After you declutter and have gone through things, then decide where they go. After you go through your drawer, countertop, bin, closet, whatever you go through, don't go out buying bins right away or any other organizing supply. Just put it back in an organized manner, the best you can. That will make you feel good and give you a sense of accomplishment, and your nervous system will start to feel less overwhelmed

Step 3: Declutter Before Organizing

SPEAKER_00 9:11

because you are doing something. Step number four, set a timer. I know this seems really basic, but some of the reasons why we don't start on an organizing project or we push it back is we think that we don't have time. If you allow yourself 15 to 20 minutes to go through a drawer, then this gives you the time to do so. Set the timer for 20 minutes. When the timer goes off, I'm sure if you were working on it for 20 minutes, you will have gotten quite a bit done. Stop doing it and call it a day. If you want to continue for a little bit longer, then go right ahead. I want to close with something that I think is really underneath all of this. When we are spiraling, when life is big and overwhelming, we often feel like we don't have any control. And that feeling is legitimately hard. It's hard to feel like things are just happening and you can't get ahead of them. But your home, your home is something that you can control. I'm not talking about having a perfect

Step 4: Set a Timer

SPEAKER_00 10:13

pantry, organizing your closet to perfection, or doing anything perfect in your home because that's not realistic for most of us. I'm a professional organizer. My house is not perfect all the time, but you do have control over the way your home looks, feels, and functions. It's a haven that you can create for yourself. It's small pockets of calm that you create yourself. It could be a clear counter, a made bed, a clear drawer that closes. It's the small things and they are not nothing. These are signals to your nervous system that you are okay, that you are capable, and that you are not behind in your own life. Here's what I know from doing this work for over six years now. You don't have to have it all together. You don't have to wait until the spiraling stops. You can actually start while you feel like you're in the chaos. Just start with one small thing, and that would be enough for a day. Taking action, even if it's small, is better than doing nothing at all. That's all I've got for you today.

Final Encouragement and Taking Small Actions

SPEAKER_00 11:23

So remember when you're spiraling and you just don't know where to start, try one of those four steps. Just one, clear the counter, sort things, use the four box rule. Just start with something. It could be 15, 20 minutes of your day, and I promise you that will make you feel better. Give yourself the permission to start, even if it's imperfect. If this resonated with you and you know of anyone that could benefit from this episode, please share. I'd really appreciate it. Otherwise, hit follow so you don't miss the next episode. I'll see you soon.