Organize for the Person You’re Becoming | Ep 15

In this final episode of Tame the Chaos, I ask a question many women rarely stop to consider: are you actually living the life you have, or your old one? 

Sharing a little bit of my identity reassessment from the past year and a half, I realized my home was still holding onto my old self instead of reflecting who I've actually become.

My three golden rules for organizing a home (and a life) that actually fits who you're becoming:

→ Organizing is not one size fits all.
→ If it's working, let it be.
→ Letting go is about identity, not just stuff.

Reflection: Walk through your home and notice if there's a room or area that still feels like your old self. If you want to take it further, pick one shelf, drawer, or closet and ask yourself if it still reflects the life you're actually living.

This episode is also a pivot. I'm stepping away from the podcast to focus on a full room by room reset of my own home, and I'll be sharing the whole thing ✨

Come find me on YouTube at @theorganizedway

Tame the Chaos is a podcast about the mindset side of organizing and what it really looks like to create a home (and a life) that works, hosted by San Diego professional organizer Elyse Metzger. New episodes every other week. 🎙️ 

Connect with Elyse:

Instagram: @the.organized.way

Facebook: The Organized Way

YouTube: @theorganizedway

Website: discovertheorganizedway.com

Have a question or topic idea? DM me. I'd love to hear from you!

Subscribe for more 💙

In the San Diego area? I work with clients for home organizing and move management. Book a free consult.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I've spent the last year becoming a completely different person, but my house never got the memo. If that sounds familiar, then stick around. I'm Elise Metzger, founder of The Organized Way. Welcome to Tame the Chaos. A lot of times we do things just for the sake of doing things. Like we run through life on autopilot. We don't really consciously think about them. We just do them because that's always how we've done them. But it doesn't necessarily mean it's the most efficient or best way to do it. Maybe we don't even consciously decide to do it. It's just what we've been taught or what we've seen or have learned what to do. It's just how we do something. It could be as little as how you organize your bowl drawer or cabinet to what grocery store you shop at. Maybe you shop at a grocery store that you've just always shopped at, but it may not be the cheapest or the closest. It's just what you've done on autopilot. Your collection of China is also a great example. We've been passed down China sets just because that's what previous generations have done. And we don't want to get rid of it just because it's from our family. So we stuff it in a cabinet and save for special occasions, holidays, whatever the case may be, but you may not even use it, but you still have it just because you don't want to get rid of it. We forget to check in with ourselves and ask, does this really make sense? Is this really working for me? But I have a thought. If we're constantly growing as a human, as an individual, and becoming better versions of ourselves, then our habits and the environments that we live in also have to improve too, or just change to match the actual life we are living. If we don't let go of things or consciously make decisions on our habits and spaces, then how can we live our current authentic versions of ourselves? I've been going through my own, let's call it identity reassessment this past year and a half. I've noticed a handful of things that have been draining me these past years, even decades. And I've also noticed some things that have brought a lot of joy back into my life. But my home has not caught up to that. My home is not fueling the current life that I'm living, and it's causing a little bit of tension. It's actually reflecting my old self. My house is just not functioning as well as it could be. I feel stagnant, low energy. It's really having an impact on my daily life. The energy and vibe is just off. I'm not motivated, I'm not inspired, it's challenging for me to get simple chores done. Actually, it's impacting my daily life. As we know, the world is changing a little bit, as it always is, but I've noticed a collective change in individuals where people are tired of the performance and living up to other people's or society's expectations. I think we're just all tired of it and we want to be our authentic selves and live joyful lives without the expectations. I guess you could say I'm one of those people going through those transformations. I talk about this in the previous episode on my own transformation, on what I've given up and what I've added into my life to enjoy my life and not live on autopilot. Through this process, I've realized that my home has not caught up and it's not reflecting the life that I'm actually living. I'm basically real time living the version of myself that I've actually outgrown. With that being said, this will be my last episode of the podcast. It's not that I don't love doing it. I love doing the podcast. I love what it has done and helped me actually become the version of the person I am today. However, it's just not bringing me that spark of joy that it used to. And I'm ready to act on what I preach and get started on organizing and doing a whole reset of my own home. So that leads me into my next chapter of sharing my personal home reset with you, but more on that later. Before we wrap up, I want to leave you with some of my golden rules. They're actually guidelines, but guidelines on what to think about and the mindset to have when you organize your own home. In order to quote, unquote, have an organized home, it needs to work for you and your family. It needs to flow, it needs to give to your life, it needs to make it better. It doesn't have to be perfect, look perfect, look like a picture you see on Pinterest. It doesn't have to look like that. Your home does not have to be perfect to be organized. If an area in your home is not working, then it is time for you to step back, assess the situation, and understand why it's not working and what you can do to actually make it work for you. So when we become better versions of ourselves, we improve certain things, when we're growing, that's the process that we take. We assess what's not working, let it go, and add in what we need for our authentic new improved lives. And our home is part of that. Going back to the grocery store, the one that you drive to just because that's always where you've gone. Those are conscious decisions that you get to make for you, whether or not it benefits your life or does not benefit your life. It's really about awareness. In every organizing project, there's always a transformation, whether or not it's big or small. But the client nonetheless has to make a decision and they have to make a shift. The shift is mostly in the mindset and seeing the challenge differently in order for these transformations to happen. That's what these guidelines are really about. Whenever you're organizing your own home, keep these in mind to organize for your true self. These are the systems, the setups that will actually work for the way that you live your life. Instead of trying to copy a pretty Pinterest pantry picture, these guidelines will help you. The mindset will help you. These are the guidelines that really help me when I'm organizing my own home and my client's home in systems that are actually sustainable and work for whatever life stage or habits or situation the client is in. My first guideline is not one size fits all. Stop trying to do what other people are doing. What works for somebody won't automatically work for you. Work with your habits, don't fight against them. If your counter seems to collect a pile in one spot, then put a basket there and that's where the pile will live. At least it's contained, it looks organized and probably feels organized because you know where that pile of papers go and it's right there. Put a basket there, that works for you. That's your habit. Don't try it the other way around. Don't put a basket somewhere else where you don't drop your things, where your ideal place to drop your papers are. Put it where you actually drop the papers, and that's working with your habits instead of trying to change your habits. I mean, if you have a really bad habit and you're trying to change it, then go for it. But really, most of the things we do in our home, the things where we naturally place things, keep it that way because that's what you do. That's where you're automatically going to go. Instead of trying to set up a system to change your habits, set up systems to work with your habits. Also, drop the expectations. Your house will not be perfect. I've been an organizer for seven years now, and I have never been into a perfect home. So drop that expectation. It's not going to look a certain way. Your home is going to be organized when it's good enough. Second thing to keep in mind is if it's working, let it be. Do not over-engineer it. Don't try to microorganize. Don't go all out on everything if you're already overwhelmed. If it's already working, leave it and let it keep working for you. There's no reason to rework something that's already working. Unless you feel like you can improve it or it needs to be improved, then by all means do it if it's going to improve the way that your house functions. But really, if it's working, let it be. So if there's a flow, if it's working, then congratulations! Be done with it and go on with your life. The third thing to keep in mind is your stuff is more than just stuff, it's your identity. So letting go of things can be letting go of certain parts of yourself and your identity. Whether or not you notice it or believe it, there is a lot of emotion in our items. We have emotional attachments for all sorts of reasons. And so some of the times, most of the time, actually, when you're organizing, you're just not organizing your stuff. You're organizing your life, you're reassessing your life, you're letting go and adding in new things to become a better version of yourself. So keep that in mind and be really gentle on yourself because our home, our things, our items have emotional connections. And when you're letting go of things, you're actually letting go of parts of yourself and past versions of yourself. So keep that in mind and remember to have self-compassion and be gentle on yourself. These are just guidelines. They don't have to be followed perfectly. They're there to be reminders that you're building a life and a home that's actually yours. This week, walk through your home and notice if there's any room or area that feels like the old you. Just notice it. You don't have to do anything or take action. Just notice it and reflect on it. Or if you want to take action, then maybe go through a shelf, drawer, closet, something that you've maybe been avoiding, or you know that reflects the old you and it's just no longer the life that you live, or just items that you no longer use. Or if you want to take action this week, then maybe go through a closet, drawer, shelf, and ask yourself: does this still reflect the life that I'm living? Go through it, declutter the things that you no longer use or need, and organize it for the life that you're living and organize it to help your house flow better so it makes your life easier. As always, thank you for listening. This is not a goodbye. This is just a pause before the next chapter, which will be something exciting and hopefully inspiring for you to see how a professional organizer organizes her own home. So I'm really excited about it and I would love for you to join me. I'll be sharing this on my YouTube channel at The Organized Way. Links to Connect are in the show notes. I can't wait to see you there. Bye for now.